| Jessicahollerlol |
: hi
|
| Jessenator |
: hey
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: whats up?
|
| Jessenator |
: nothing much, just eating some fish
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ok
|
| Jessenator |
: its delicious
|
| Jessenator |
: what about you?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: nothing really
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: im jesscia by the way
|
| Jessenator |
: woah I'm Jesse
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: lol
|
| Jessenator |
: thats mad nuts.
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: i souposse
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: nice to meet you jesse
|
| Jessenator |
: thank you
|
| Jessenator |
: nice to meet you as well
|
| Jessenator |
: we are more than friends
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: just guesing but the states right?
|
| Jessenator |
: wer are superpals
|
| Jessenator |
: yeah
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: england
|
| Jessenator |
: oh nice
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: thanks
|
| Jessenator |
: what do you do in england?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: umm
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: what do you do?
|
| Jessenator |
: lots of stuff
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: same
|
| Jessenator |
: I killed a guy once
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ok
|
| Jessenator |
: what about you?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: sorta the same
|
| Jessenator |
: really?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: yep
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: sorta
|
| Jessenator |
: interesting. i didn't think anyone else was into that craziness
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: lol
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: im 19 by the way
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: youreself?
|
| Jessenator |
: 18
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: cool
|
| Jessenator |
: yup
|
| Jessenator |
: want me?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: depends how big you are
|
| Jessenator |
: 5 and a half inches
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: yes
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: yes i do
|
| Jessenator |
: do you have a paypal
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: i have a pic
|
| Jessenator |
: not the same
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
** CENSORED TO MAINTAIN VICTIM PRIVACY ** |
| Jessicahollerlol |
: im to the up
|
| Jessenator |
: nice
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: thanks
|
| Jessenator |
: i would give you the boner basher
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: i would definitely take it
|
| Jessenator |
: how do you like it?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: fast and rough
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: you?
|
| Jessenator |
: I hate it when they bruise my pube zone
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: sounds hot
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: you mind fucking in the ass?
|
| Jessenator |
: but there’s poop in there
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: good
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: cause this gorl lover her anal
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *girl
|
| Jessenator |
: i've only done anal once but it hurt my butt
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: well looks like ill be youre second
|
| Jessenator |
: I hate it when history repeats itself
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: i want to see you and youre big dick
|
| Jessenator |
: i want to see your thingy too
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: youd cum for me wouldnt you?
|
| Jessenator |
: if you dress like an indian
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: id love too
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: tell me though
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: was 5 inches a measurement?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: did you measure?
|
| Jessenator |
: guestimate
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: great
|
| Jessenator |
: do you like big poles
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: yes
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: huge
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: like you
|
| Jessenator |
: have you lost your virginia thing
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: 4 times
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: you?
|
| Jessenator |
: like 72 thousand times
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: nice
|
| Jessenator |
: have you ever got the indigo ass wand
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: no
|
| Jessenator |
: really?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: yep
|
| Jessenator |
: english guys must be assholes
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: sometimes
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: i make you cum
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: once or twice
|
| Jessenator |
: would you sit on my lap when i was naked
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: hell yeah
|
| Jessenator |
: i hope you don’t break it
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: i hope I would
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: im on the pill to
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: you know what that means?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: no condom
|
| Jessenator |
: im not sure I follow
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: also
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: you can cum as much as you want
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: wherever you want ;)
|
| Jessenator |
: even in the lungs. that would rock
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: yeah it would
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: id suck you dry
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: cause i have datt ass
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: lol
|
| Jessenator |
: i would punch you in the butt for hours with my dick fist
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: id enjoy every second
|
| Jessenator |
: id use sorcery to make unholy things happen to your clitoris
|
| Jessenator |
: i'd have you climbing the walls for something to hang onto
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: mmmm
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: just call me spider-girl
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ;)
|
| Jessenator |
: i got some webbing for you
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: the cans nice and big right/
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *?
|
| Jessenator |
: can?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: err
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: nevermind
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: badjoke
|
| Jessenator |
: like soup? you can call me the food share
|
| Jessenator |
: yeah i got enough to last us a while
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: good
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: cause im looking to do some swinging
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ok im sorry that was horrible
|
| Jessenator |
: and im dr. octopuss
|
| Jessenator |
: i have 8 dicks
|
| Jessenator |
: with blades on them
|
| Jessenator |
: and i'll use them to tear your face off
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: i dont know what to say there
|
| Jessenator |
: you can call me the green goblin
|
| Jessenator |
: because i'll be goblin your ass up all night
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: mmm sounds yummy :)
|
| Jessenator |
: you can be uncle ben, because i'll shoot you in the chest
|
| Jessenator |
: with my jizz
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ok lets stop with the spider inuendo
|
| Jessenator |
: but then the sandman will emerge from your pubes
|
| Jessenator |
: oh no! you have crabs!
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ?
|
| Jessenator |
: lets just hope you don't have Venom
|
| Jessenator |
: loller loller
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: lol
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: so
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ever cyberd before?
|
| Jessenator |
: like fucking a robot. Shit yes!
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: did you like it?
|
| Jessenator |
: no
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: mind having some with me?
|
| Jessenator |
: not at all
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: you start big boy
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: (im in my underware btw)
|
| Jessenator |
: whats the situation
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: what you mean?
|
| Jessenator |
: is there a scenario or anything or are we just fucking
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: well youre starting
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: so you decide
|
| Jessenator |
: ok
|
| Jessenator |
: after a long fight on the brooklyn bridge Norman Osbourne, the green goblin is finally dead
|
| Jessenator |
: so Spiderman returns home to find Mary Jane waiting for him in her underwear
|
| Jessenator |
: I kiss your cheek with tongue
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *i take off youre mask*
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: did you think thad kiss would hold me?
|
| Jessenator |
: i don't know what your talking about. im gonna touch your boobies now
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: lol
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ok
|
| Jessenator |
: i lick face and nose and boobs and stuff
|
| Jessenator |
: launching my tongue at you. this is gonna hurt.
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ohhhh
|
| Jessenator |
: whats wrong?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: nothing
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: it just feels good
|
| Jessenator |
: oh. dont scare me like that.
|
| Jessenator |
: i just murdered my best friends dad, so it's understandable that i'm a little shaken
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: true...
|
| Jessenator |
: i look at my hands, wondering what the odds are that i dodged the glider
|
| Jessenator |
: I could be a squished spider right now
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *i kiss youre neck* but baby youre not
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: youre here
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: with me
|
| Jessenator |
: can you hear my thoughts?
|
| Jessenator |
: oh my god.
|
| Jessenator |
: you're mysterio in disguise
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: you spoke outloud
|
| Jessenator |
: morph back to your true form, villain
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: (wtf are you doing?)
|
| Jessenator |
: *punches you in the face, shattering your nose in a bloody, boney mess
|
| Jessenator |
: what have you done with mary jane?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: AGH!
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: PETTER!
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ITS ME!
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
|
| Jessenator |
: i'm really sorry i broke your nose
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: well petter too bad
|
| Jessenator |
: I'm still horny
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: what the hell where you doing?
|
| Jessenator |
: I'm sorry. You heard my thoughts and I assumed the worst.
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: no
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: you spoke them out loud
|
| Jessenator |
: could it be that you have gained a superpower
|
| Jessenator |
: battle meditation!
|
| Jessenator |
: lvl up!
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: sereously
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: what the hell are you doing?
|
| Jessenator |
: ok, you get 2 jedi feats to choose from
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ....
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: kotor? wtf?
|
| Jessenator |
: 6 skill points
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: would you just fuck me already?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: youre losing youre chance
|
| Jessenator |
: ok, autolevel up
|
| Jessenator |
: you got stuck with some lame shit
|
| Jessenator |
: ok, what position do you want it in
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: doggy
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: fuck me like the bitch i am
|
| Jessenator |
: ok, wraps hands around my own ass while while i try to get hard
|
| Jessenator |
: *CONCENTRATION*
|
| Jessenator |
: i left my costume on so i have to get my dick hard enough to tear through the bullet proof silk
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: can we drop the scenario and fuck?
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: please?
|
| Jessenator |
: yeah
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: thank you
|
| Jessenator |
: so I come home from a hard day at work at the daily bugle
|
| Jessenator |
: to await my mary jane, my hot neighbor, on the couch
|
| Jessenator |
: "Hey MJ, what's up?"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: "oh peter ive been thinking of you all day"
|
| Jessenator |
: "oh really now?" said peter, "How about we head up to my room"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: "shure thing"
|
| Jessenator |
: Peter akwardly walks up the stair, with Mary Jane trailing a few feet behind him. Peter struggles to stretch his slacks enough to walk due to the largest erection he's ever sustained.
|
| Jessenator |
: Will this mean the end of our heroes virginity?
|
| Jessenator |
: "It's not much, but I sleep here lol" Peter blurted
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: "its okay its got a bed what more do you need?"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: i lie on the bed
|
| Jessenator |
: "What more do I need?" Peter pondered "What more do any of us need?"
|
| Jessenator |
: "I've got the perfect life. A hot girlfriend, I'm loved all over the world, all I'd have to do to claim my fortune is give up the only thing I have left."
|
| Jessenator |
: A single tear streamed down his cheek.
|
| Jessenator |
: "I just..."
|
| Jessenator |
: "I just want to make them proud." Peter let out a deep sob.
|
| Jessenator |
: He'd clearly been holding these emotions in for years.
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ....
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *i get up and hug you*
|
| Jessenator |
: With one quick, agile motion, Peter shoots his right arm up at a 90 degree angle, hitting Mary Jane right in the nose in reaction to his spider sense.
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *falls over*
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: agh!
|
| Jessenator |
: "Oh my god" shouted Peter "Are you alright"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: OK I GET THE MESSAGE
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: YOU DONT WANT TO CYBER
|
| Jessenator |
: "Please, don't go"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *i start to walk to the door*
|
| Jessenator |
: "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me" Peter shouted "You Startled me"
|
| Jessenator |
: In the instant Mary Jane was about to open the door, Peter instinctively shot a load of web at the door, sealing it shut.
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ...
|
| Jessenator |
: "I..I..." Peter struggled to find words to say.
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *stares at petter*
|
| Jessenator |
: This was his deepest secret. Now someone would know it was him along.
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ...
|
| Jessenator |
: "Mary Jane,"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: yes?
|
| Jessenator |
: "I am..."
|
| Jessenator |
: "I am Spiderman"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: you...
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: are..
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: SPIDERMAN?!
|
| Jessenator |
: "Wow."
|
| Jessenator |
: "Way to repeat exactly what I said" Peter snarled in a clearly adjetated voice
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ...
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: peter..
|
| Jessenator |
: "Let's get it on, woman"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *backs into corner*
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: youre..youre not peter..
|
| Jessenator |
: Peter shoots a string of web, snatching Mary Jane and webbing her to the bed.
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *screams*
|
| Jessenator |
: Peter then removes his Spider Man costume from it's Hollocaust trunk and puts it on.
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: peter.. what are you doing..
|
| Jessenator |
: "Let's see the city" Peter enthusiasticly said "In style"
|
| Jessenator |
: Spider Man reached into his pocket and put on some 90's era sunglasses
|
| Jessenator |
: "Let's go" he said, while he grabbed Mary Jane, holding her tightly, and swung out the window.
|
| Jessenator |
: "Where to, MJ?"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: just... put me down..
|
| Jessenator |
: "Did somebody say Internation House of Pancakes?" Peter yelled as he continued to climb higher into the air
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: peter! just put me down!
|
| Jessenator |
: "Know who the last girl who snapped at me was" Peter asked retorically "Gwen Stacy. Gwen muthafuckin Stacy"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: but..
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: shes..
|
| Jessenator |
: "Look, we're here" Spiderman set Mary Jane down on the roof of the worlds tallest IHOP and headed inside.
|
| Jessenator |
: As MJ and Spiderman enter, nobody is star struck "Ah, Spidey!" The waiter shouts "The usual I presume"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: usual?
|
| Jessenator |
: "You got it Roger. And one half order of waffles for my lady friend. She's heavy enough as it is"
|
| Jessenator |
: The patrons of the restaurant laughed hysterically.
|
| Jessenator |
: "What to drink, Spidey" a waitress asked
|
| Jessenator |
: "I'll take the pumpkin pie shake" Peter said "And two apple martinis for MJ"
|
| Jessenator |
: An attractive woman at the table next to him seductively walked over and put her hand on Peters shoulder.
|
| Jessenator |
: "Hey spidey, I got a question for ya" she said
|
| Jessenator |
: "Does pussy taste like pumpkin pie?"
|
| Jessenator |
: "Woman!" Peter shouted "I'm god damn Spiderman"
|
| Jessenator |
: "I ain't never had no pumpkin pie"
|
| Jessenator |
: The crowd laughed so hard that they shook the building
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *mumbels to herlself* its gotta be a dream
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: its just gotta be
|
| Jessenator |
: Peter Snarled "If you say a word about who I..."
|
| Jessenator |
: The restaurant manager interrupted "Eyyy, Spidey. We'd be honored if you would have the pleasure of performing one of you songs for us this evening"
|
| Jessenator |
: "Nah, fellas, I really can't." Peter rejected "I've got my gee eff with me and I wouldn't want to embarass her"
|
| Jessenator |
: "What do you say MJ" He said in a louder than normal voice.
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: i...
|
| Jessenator |
: he then whispered "Keep in mind, you mess up you pay with your life"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ...
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: i think one song wouldnt hurt
|
| Jessenator |
: "How about it" the manager yelled "Who wantsa hear a song by the Spidey and the Arachniphobes?"
|
| Jessenator |
: The crowd loudly cheered "Alright" Peter said "I guess I could do one"
|
| Jessenator |
: He walked to the stage, smiling at all the patrons, but turning to Mary Jane and giving her the ol' I'm-gonna-slit-yer-throat motion.
|
| Jessenator |
: Fog filled the stage
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *sinks in her seat*
|
| Jessenator |
: Two purple spot lights pierce the clouds of smoke.
|
| Jessenator |
: electric drum rhythms heat the room
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: let me gues
|
| Jessenator |
: Peter rocks back and forth, holding his giant glass guitar
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: spectaculer spider man
|
| Jessenator |
: "Woman" He interrupts the song shouting "Not another word if you want to see 2012"
|
| Jessenator |
: The crowd laughed, not knowing he actually had intentions of muder.
|
| Jessenator |
: The music starts back up again.
|
| Jessenator |
: "When I start makin love, I don't just make love"
|
| Jessenator |
: "I be strokin" Peter sang as he rocked back and forth
|
| Jessenator |
: "I be strokin"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *sinks in her seat more*
|
| Jessenator |
: "I stroke it to the east, and I stroke it to the West"
|
| Jessenator |
: "I stroke it to the wuhhman that I lovah best. I be strokin"
|
| Jessenator |
: Peter stepped off the stage with the mic still in his hand
|
| Jessenator |
: "Let me ask you somethin" he said while motioning to the crowd "What time of the day do you like to make love"
|
| Jessenator |
: "Have you ever made love just before breakfast" a few members of the crowd cheered
|
| Jessenator |
: "Have you ever made love while you watched the late, late show-hooo" a few more crowd members shouted
|
| Jessenator |
: "Well lemme ask you this," he pondered "Have you ever made love on a couch"
|
| Jessenator |
: "well lemme ask you this" he again asked the crowd "Have you ever made love on the back seat of a car?"
|
| Jessenator |
: A few outspoken members shouted and clapped crassly.
|
| Jessenator |
: "I made love on the back seat of a car once" several audience members whistled suggestively at Mary Jane
|
| Jessenator |
: "And the po-lice came and shined his light on me."
|
| Jessenator |
: "And I said, I'm Strokin!"
|
| Jessenator |
: Peter air humped toward Mary Jane
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *just stares at the ground*
|
| Jessenator |
: Peter then jumped on top of the table, grabbing Mary
|
| Jessenator |
: Peter then jumped on top of the table, grabbing Mary
|
| Jessenator |
: "I stroke it to the North, and I stroke it to the South, I stroke it everywhere! I even stroke it with my"
|
| Jessenator |
: "WOOO" Peter said while kicking up in the air
|
| Jessenator |
: "I be Strokin"
|
| Jessenator |
: "MJ, come sing a verse with me" Peter yelled
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: peter you know i dont know the words
|
| Jessenator |
: Peter strutted gleefully to Mary Janes table "That was not an option, bitch." he angrily whispered through his clenched teeth.
|
| Jessenator |
: "If you do not sing this we are going to have a problem"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: peter.. please.. she said with tear in her eyes
|
| Jessenator |
: Peter smiles to the crowd, doing the Jesse go-go dance and puts the microphone to Mary Jane's mouth.
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *sings verse trying not to sob*
|
| Jessenator |
: "I thought she said she didn't know the words" one audience member yells
|
| Jessenator |
: "Yeah, what kind of a scam are you runnin here, Pedro" another one shouts to the manager
|
| Jessenator |
: "This is a bunch of bullshit. Are we just gonna take this?" A colored audience member says
|
| Jessenator |
: the crowd gathers pitchforks and torches, chanting "KILL THE GINGER"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: *backs up in her seat*
|
| Jessenator |
: The crowd rushes at you. There is a window to the NORTH,
|
| Jessenator |
: The crowd rushes at you. There is a window to the NORTH,
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ...
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: thats it im out
|
| Jessenator |
: no, baby
|
| Jessenator |
: please it was just getting good
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: well drop the fucking games!
|
| Jessenator |
: 15 seconds
|
| Jessenator |
: 5 seconds
|
| Jessenator |
: 3
|
| Jessenator |
: 2
|
| Jessenator |
: 1
|
| Jessenator |
: A pitchfork pierces your throat, killing you.
|
| Jessenator |
: Silence overwhelms the room.
|
| Jessenator |
: "Now that's what I call a sloppy eater!" Spiderman uttered.
|
| Jessenator |
: The crowd threw down their pitchforks and torches in utter hilarity.
|
| Jessenator |
: The carpet catches on fire, the crowd is terrified
|
| Jessenator |
: Spiderman grabs his backpack, strapping it on
|
| Jessenator |
: "Gotta Jet!" He yells to the crowd as his jet back ignites and he is blasted through the roof
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: you had to push it didnt you?
|
| Jessenator |
: "See you in space, New York!"
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: ive given you 3 chanses now
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: thats it
|
| Jessenator |
: no, baby
|
| Jessicahollerlol |
: youve struck out
|
| Jessenator |
: I may have struck out
|
| Jessenator |
: But I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. |
